Republicans Are Stupid

Last night, Sen. Barack Obama delivered an historic speech accepting the nomination as the Democratic candidate for President. The feelings I had were elation and actual hope that this country can get back to its winning ways. You know, good lives for most people and the effort to help the rest get there. We've been under the Republican lash for forty years, men who openly hate us. I really hope the Obama Change is for real.

This morning, John McCain (the wily old coot) picked the unknown Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, as his running mate. She apparently has Maverick credentials, having bucked the status quo of her state party. (Of course, THAT party is currently near indictment.) And Republicans know that a knowledgeable man like Mitt Romney is damaging because the lunatic Christian base won't support a Mormon. Minnesotan Tim Pawlenty is an anonymous white male, completely off the radar after the Democratic primary of African American vs. woman. With no lifeline in sight, McCain savvily reached back to 1988 and selected his own Dan Quayle.

I guess that kiss meant what we thought it meant—McCain worships the Bush family and wants to be one of them.

So McCain picks a girl—a young girl—and shows the cheering idiots we call Republicans that he can still handle the babes. But trying to steal the spotlight from Obama, McCain just throws it on his lame choice of a nobody who's supposed to demonstrate he has levels of understanding but only shows us how desperate Republicans are against an actual, viable Democratic campaign. And that Republicans are completely without talent and position unless they are race-baiting or Swiftboating. They have risen to this moment of vapidity from their sheer talent for it.

But wait!—Republicans are criminally expert at stealing elections! It will happen again on November 4th as it did in 2000 and 2004, that somehow an un-loseable election gets lost in a critical state whose voting processes are controlled by local Republican lords of evil. McCain/Palin will be elected by 166 votes in Pennsylvania, or Michigan maybe; and Obama Pelosi and Company will gracefully acquiesce as Al Gore did, or heave a sigh of relief as John Kerry did.

I hope I'm kidding. Saints preserve us...

These last few months, we have witnessed the Fall of the House of Clinton: they lost the inside track, the party, then the nomination. Hillary Clinton's historic journey to the White House is over, as is Bill Clinton's journey of vindication. Nearly 20 years of dynastic work has collapsed. This is sad for Hillary, one of the most presidentially talented people of her era. We love Barack Obama, expect he'll do well, but Hillary was a once-in-a-lifetime candidate—the first Woman President and a Top-Ten of All Time President.

But it's over, for now anyway. Hillary removes to the sideline and watches as the Republicans manage to illegally win. Then John McCain dies a month after taking office, his pimply carcass wracked with chancres. Then his Vice President, Sarah Palin, assumes the Oval Office.

And it's 2001 all over again.