October 1, 2009

South Carolina Speaks


From our wire service and critical review in Los Angeles, Leading Opinion receives this item:

South Carolina criminal defense attorney Irby Walker was arrested for trying to hire a hit man to kill Doug Thornton, an attorney with whom he had once shared a law office. Walker repeatedly talked with the purported hit man, who recorded the conversations—he also met with the fellow, established a price for the hit and put a deposit on the job, with the balance due upon completion.

While speechless, Thornton apparently wasn’t that shocked by the news—the police had already been investigating Walker after Thornton reported that his colleague had made threats on his life. Thornton told a local paper: “I know a few things that may have contributed to it."


The Thurmonds(minus 1) at homeThis all took place in South Carolina. My source sent it, responding to my piece about South Carolina Congressman and American Bozo Joe Wilson, whose catcalls in Congress last month sullied American governmental process. Leading Opinion pointed out, however, that such is the participatory mise en scene of guys like Wilson. As I looked more into South Carolina politics to see if there was something that explained it, I found lots of answers:

    Cocksman SanfordGovernor Mark Sanford had an e-ffair with an Argentinian woman. In a fit of uncontrollable passion—maybe some mad, mad romantic and poetic derring-do?—Sanford disappeared without notice or trace to consort with his beloved in the third world. He denied it, was nailed at it, and stays defiantly in office.


    "Pitchfork Ben" Tillman
    was Governor of the state from 1890-94, then served in the US Senate till his death in 1918. His political career was about open espousal of violence against the wealthy, President Grover Cleveland and of course, African Americans.


    Preston Brooks, Representative from South Carolina, had the historically greatest moment of Congressional disruption and Government by Low Life. Brooks was offended in 1856 by a speech delivered by Senator Charles Sumner, in which Sumner berated slavery sympathisers, Canesman Brooksincluding Brooks's relative. Three days later, Brooks coolly approached Sumner in the Senate and beat him to a pulp with his gold-knobbed wooden cane. Brooks was later challenged to a duel with rifles by another anti-slavery man; he declined, giving his fear of death as his excuse.

    Strom Thurmond was King of All Bigots during his years in National Government, 1947-2003. He bravely planted himself between Civil War and Civil Rights, Kinsman Thurmondas the last best hope for White Manhood. After death finally rid America of his cantankerous stand against basic human values (as outlined in the Constitution of the United States), Thurmond's family revealed his secret, the truth at the very core of slavery and slavers like Thurmond. At 22, the horticulturist (!) from Clemson had fathered a child with his African American servant. Thurmond loved the child dearly throughout his life, supported her financially, and kept her absolutely secret until relieved of the effort by the grave.


Caitlin Upton was Miss South Carolina Teen USA in 2006 and competed for the title of Miss Teen USA. During the pageant, Upton struggled to answer a question about geography and education; the response was widely and popularly viewed on the web. While Upton's intelligence is not at issue here, Leading Opinion feels it it far and away the finest demonstration of national political culture from the Palmetto State.





1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That does it! They're having just too much wacky fun over there. We're packing up and moving to South Carolina!

AS