Stupid Wolf Blitzer.

Wolf Blitzer, Hack.

Tonight's debate on CNN between Democratic candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama was notable for its intelligent tone. Both candidates, and questioners Jeanne Cummings of Politico.com and Doyle McManus of the Los Angeles Times, kept the content of the discussion on specific divisions between the candidates' positions. All well and good, but Stupid Wolf Blitzer was intent on running the game show/sporting event that is contemporary television news.

As Moderator, Blitzer's job is to take substantive answers to serious questions and position them as double-speak that hides the sex crimes lurking just below the surface. Fair enough if you're an actual journalist doing the story on David Vitter or "The Hammer". But Obama finished his position on health care, declaring the debates were best aired openly and on C_SPAN. Smelling the possibility of invented conflict—as a hound excites his instincts at the dog park by keeping his nose in ass—Wolf zeroed in:

"I just want to be precise, and I'll let Senator Clinton respond. But you say broadcast on C-SPAN these deliberations. Is that a swipe at Senator Clinton because..?"

Consider it—not "is that a swipe?", but "is that a swipe because?.." Let's get to the bottom of the swipe, which Stupid Wolf Blitzer just invented. Fortunately for the adults among us, Obama batted it away.

Soon after, Stupid Wolf Blitzer begged Obama for a little sex play. "Senator Obama," he asked expertly, "Democrats remember the eight years of the Clinton administration, a period of relative peace and prosperity, and they remember it fondly. Are they right? Should they be remembering those eight years with pleasure?"

INSERT DOUBLE ENTENDRE HERE

But the most egregious Stupid Wolf Bliter-ism occured with Clinton's most vulnerable point, her consistent refusal to take responsibility for using Bush's war to her political advantage from 2002-present. The topic came up and the pressure was on from online questioners. Clinton handled herself honorably, making it clear (to me at least) that her reasoning on the legislation was sound, but that Bush took the resolution down a criminal path. In short, what's one to do when the gun shop legitimately sells the murder weapon to the sociopath?

What indeed? Obama had his signature moment of the evening, asserting Clinton's denial of responsibility as the more important presidential test:

"Senator Clinton mentioned the issue of gravitas and judgment. I think it is much easier for us to have the argument, when we have a nominee who says, I always thought this was a bad idea, this was a bad strategy. It was not just a problem of execution...

And we need better judgment when we decide to send our young men and women into war... And that is an argument that I think we are going to have an easer time making if they can't turn around and say: 'But hold on a second; you supported this.'" (My emphases.)

Clinton responded with more evidence of Bush's malfeasance. Blitzer, with liquiferous dreams of Emmy straining at his Dolce Gabbana fastenings, heroically took the Senator to task. "So, what I hear you saying—and correct me if I'm wrong—is that you were naive in trusting President Bush?"

"No," Clinton corrected-him-if-he's-wrong, "that's not what you heard me say." The Hollywood audience—cursed by Stupid Wolf Blitzer moments before for their relentless pouring of gore into America's innocent living rooms—booed.

Stupid Wolf Blitzer, hopes of entertaiment mogul-ship dashed before a Hollywood crowd in their most holy temple, fell silent, exposed.

Stupid Wolf Blitzer! If not for Stupid Tim Russert, Stupid Wolf Blitzer would be THE Stupid Wolf Blitzer.